Spawn of MacBook

This MacBook, as attractive, svelte, and powerful as it is, is probably the worst Apple product I've personally owned. Tonight, I'm going to head back to the Apple Store from which it came, box in hand, and demand a replacement MacBook.

1. The MacBook is narcoleptic. The machine will not faithfully go to sleep when it is closed, nor will it wake up when it is opened. If it does go to sleep, as you leave it there, it will randomly wake up. The logs will tell me every time it woke up, but not why -- it's just random. My ride to work seems to consist of my MacBook wardriving for me, completely without my knowledge.
2. I have never seen so many kernel panics. This is amusing, because I've been using Mac OS X since Developer Preview 2, and DP3 would kernel panic if you plugged the wrong USB device in. I think I get one a week now, and I don't really need to do much to get it to happen, but I don't know exactly what to do to make it happen.
3. Applications hang, then hang, and then hang some more. I'm not sure if this is memory, hardware, or a buggy OS, but my beigebox PC running the hacked Intel OS X was more stable. Applications beachball out of nowhere. And no, not just Rosetta apps, that's a different story. Regular old Intel compiled universal applications will just die. And then spring to life. And then die. Programs quit unexpectedly. I've sent 25-30 reports to Apple, just because. I never send those damn things, and now it's fun.

Those are the big items, I suppose. I'll let you all know how it goes. All one of you. :)